"The more you get to know a person, the more attractive they become to you, because everything you see on the inside of them suddenly you're able to see on the outside of them too." -anonymous

Strong Faith

You may have given up on me, but I'll never give up on you. I promise...

Consideration

If a person is very considerate towards you, please don't take it for granted. Sometimes people fucking take it for granted too much undermining the reasons behind the things we do for them.

Ex.

If someone didn't accept your invitation on ice skating and you haven't seen the person you are in relationship with for 6 month, who came a long way to spend time with you. Does not mean we don't want to go, it just means that we are fucking considerate enough to let you have an alone time with that person. Don't get all fucking upset/angry at us(more towards me) because I respect a relationship. It's rather pathetic of you to get that upset when I explained the reason why and it's not always about you. Did you even consider what the person you are in relationship with wants? If a person came all the way from opposite side of the country to be with you. Doesn't that person deserve an alone time with you? We already met this person and spent most of the time around you guys leaving you both no privacy, just you two alone; yet you disregard my considerateness.


Why do you always want things to go your way, not by the consideration of others? Funny thing is you always think you are considerate of everyone but you can't even be considerate towards the person you are in relationship with? This person might not say anything but do you atleast care about what he wants or think? Stop being such a control freak. I can guarantee you, being a control freak would not go too well for you in the long run.

I hate...no, I don't like the fact that when things doesn't go your way, you get all upset, mad and sulky. It's rather pathetic of you...grow up for once. You say you're grown but in all honesty...not even close. Not even...

Fallin' For Someone

Have you ever fall for someone who's already on a relationship? I have...

It's a rather damn shame for allowing myself to fall to a person who's already on a relationship; knowing this person wouldn't be able to catch you. Seeing this person with another aches. Part of myself is hurt and happy at the same time knowing this person is happy; Jealous.

It's a shame for allowing myself and putting myself on this kind of situation...

English Accent

I should keep English accent as my permanent accent. Since I have lisp, it works quite well.

Since I have trouble pronouncing "s," people or my friends tend to imitate it in order to tease me. It's funny actually, because they do it so well. Though sometimes they sound stupid when they over exaggerate my accent.

To me, English accent is very easy to do. It is like the lazy way of speaking and I'm not saying it's lazy speaking having an English accent. I'm saying lazy because for me, it is so easy to speak it that it feels like a lazy way of speaking. I don't know if that makes any sense at all but speaking English accent is like walking to me. I do also believe that I do it too well I could probably fit with English people if I ever go in England.

When I was back in high school I felt like speaking English on the school bus; my ride home. When I spoke just for the fun of it, students were looking around who was speaking with an accent. They were quite amuse with the accent and they thought there was an actual English boy on the school bus. That gave me a smile.

Hypocrites

It really bothers me when people are so fucking hypocrite. They accuse people of being hypocrite when they do the same fucking thing. Sadly, they don't even know that they are doing it. When you confront them; tell them truth and they don't take it lightly. Instead of responding like an adult, they respond immaturely about the situation. How sad...

"You shouldn't get into a relationship, knowing that you still have feelings for your Ex." -anonymous

Stop comparing men and women. Men and women are not all the same. They're not the problem you are...

You shouldn't fall for someone because there's a high chance they won't catch you. You can show/give love but don't expect it back...

You can't understand someone if they won't let.

Self-image and Existential (I see friends...)

I see friends going through troubles, especially in tough times.
I see friends happy, though inside hurting, hearth-broken, confused and lost.
They see no light of hope, but shadows...no hope, no exit.
Always looking for Existential meaning, where paths, can easily be lost.
I see friends seek acceptance from others, whatever it may take.
Even if it was the wrong crowd of friends...
I see friends wait for something they've always been waiting for, to come but hasn't.
Nothing, but left hanging...
Self-image become less of value...
I see friends dislike the way they look, that they are not beautiful.
Even comments from real friends, friends that truely care, becomes less of a value.
answering, "not really... thank you though... that's very sweet of you. ha-ha-ha..."
Saying it with a sad smile and laught, then changes the subject...
I see friends try to help other friends who are aching,
Yet they themselves aren't able to help their selves from past achings that they still carry within them.

- - -

Fake friends are like your own shadows...
They'll always be there when light still shines...
But when darkness comes, they hide...
No longer your shadow, no longer there for you...

- - -

I see many things from friends, that can go on forever...listing one by one.
Sometimes, you wish you can change things...
Sometimes, you wish you can do more than just be there for them...
But being there seems to be the only thing you 'can' do...

- - -

Changes...
Tell your friends they are beautiful when you see them.
Tell them they are beautiful because you truely meant it,
all the way from the bottom of your heart,
Not because someone tells you to do so.
Tell them they are beautiful just the way they are.
Tell them they deserve better.
Tell them you'll always be there for them, even in times of darkness.
Tell them...

- - -

Self-image and existential meaning...is your guide to who you want to be as a person...


    P.S.

        Just sharing thoughts...:D

Life is full of surprises

"Children are the orgasms of life. You don't know how great they are until you've had them."
- Water Bottle -

Every second counts

"For every minute you're angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness."

- anonymous -

Resilient Just Like Bamboos...

We, as Filipinos are like resilient bamboos.
No matter how strong and no matter how many times storms hits us.
We stand back up.
No matter where we are in the world, we are all connected in so many ways.
The hardship that we go through, maybe from work or maybe missing our
families back to our homeland or maybe other things in life...
No matter what troubles we go through, we stand up with resilience, just like bamboos.

Was...

When you are in love, you are in your most vulnerable state
You can easily be blinded, deceived and easily be hurt, we cower

Known her for long, but left for a bit
Came back to reunite and nothing seems fit
All is to ignore and move on
To tell the stories, reconnect the missing puzzles and carry on
Heard the stories, most unexpecting, yet interesting
Believed, but something...a piece, missing...
Don't know what it was, but all is to ignore
moved on, continued like before
Pathetic much but true
Lost, got carried away
When truth unraveled,
Confused...
In denial of the truth,
But sooner or later, we need to accept the truth
At some point...
Heart-broken, didn't know what to do
There was nothing I could do...
I don't know what to say
maybe, pain? never to trust again
never to fall again?
I...

---

Being in love can be great, an amazing feeling to have where posibilies become endless. There are those of us that experienced the worst and the best about being in love, to really care for someone dear to you. The experiences we have in Love teach us many things that matures our thinking, our perspective of things. We learn to accept and deny, to care and not care, to love and hate, etc...

For those who's been hurt by being in love to someone who feels otherwise realizes or other, that if things doesn't workout with this person when you gave all you have to offer, means another hope. That, that someone you are looking for is out there looking for you. The same thing that you are doing and I do believe that someday you'll find that person.

You may feel that the world may seem to crumble around you, when in fact it's leading you the way. You'll just have to have faith...

Always look for the positive side, learn from your experiences and don't cower because it will lead you nowhere but feel even worst.

Adult Truths

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
... ... ...
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with alcohol than Kay.

17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

22. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for jocks to realize that their brain is also important.

I'm Bored Out of My Mind

I'm bored out of my mind,
Stuck here, nothin' to do,
Messin' with things I could find,
Boredom, few more weeks and I'm through.

Reading Lone Survivor,
One pretty damn good book,
Navy SEALs, one of our protector,
Their story I'm hooked.

Sitting here in bed writing this,
Thinkin' I should text ol' buddies but damn they busy,
They got school, they got classes,
All in college, one left, my buddy.

Jerome playing xbox, basketball,
While talking to friends on the phone,
Multi-tasking, that's how he roll,
Waiting for a message to come on my phone.

Missin' FCA camp, a game changer,
Meeting all sorts of good bad people,
Praising God, a life changer,
Feelings are like on full throttle.

I'm bored out of my mind,
Thinkin' what I should write,
I'm just blathering, hopefully you don't mind,
'Cause I don't feel like sleeping yet, just not my night.

Got two choices, write songs or poems,
They're just in my head, they're floating,
Though I don't feel like writing all of 'em,
Just write a poem and sing like thinking.

I'd like to write my songs,
No one cares, it's not my style,
Writing songs on FB, to my bro Ennio it belongs,
Rather keep it in a file, I don't wanna cramp his style.

I'm bored out of my mind...

Desperation

I'm so confused, I'm so lost...
Don't know what to do, thinking nothing...but you
You seem so close, but far away out of reach
Wishing to win your heart, but one may already have...
Jealous much...but happy, all I could do, all I could be - *smiling*
Wishing the best for you, it's in my heart, it's true.

Wishing things could be different, Ha-ha ain't it apparent... *Giggle-smile*
Wishing you were here...
Maybe simply talk, about anything, everything, any talk
Wanted to impress you, but time/space is against me and you
Things could've been different..
If given a chance, but chance...not even once present.

Wanted to show the real me, only one knows, my best buddy
Wanted to show you places not seen by many,
A beautiful, breathe taking, wished you could see
Where the ground and skies meet, best view, best seat
Where the beautiful sunset lies, fell in loved, opened my eyes
Mixed emotion of happiness, greatest feeling, almost endless

I'd do anything to be with you, funny it may be, but it's true
Anything to make you laugh and smile, I'd take an extra mile
Be there when you're sad, be there when you're mad
Whenever you're in need I'll be there...I'll be you're teddy bear...
Whack as it may sound, but what my heart feels is bound.
I wish I could just show you....

Dancing Dance Central 3 & Just Dance 4

My friend, who's very special to me, finally bought these two games and we couldn't wait to play them in Xbox 360 Kinect. My friend had been meaning to buy these games for quite sometime now since it first came out. So my friend finally bought it today.

We first played Just Dance 4 since it was the first game bought at the Mall. When we finally started playing it, the game wasn't that bad at all. Although the hard level weren't really that hard at all, in fact they were quite easy to follow. My friend knew the difference between Just Dance and Dance Central. So my friend automatically knew what game was better, which was Dance Central since my friend had been playing them for quite sometime.

After an hour or two had past playing the game with our friends, my friend decided to get the other game Just Dance 2 fixed because it had the "Ring of Death," which is a circle scratch on the disc that prevents the CD reader to read its data on the disc. So my friend wanted to get it fixed and we went to the nearest Gamestop to check if they allow CD cleaning. Unfortunately they didn't nor they had any CD cleaner to sell us and found out we had just missed the last stock they had. Someone had already bought it, sadly. We ended up buying Dance Central 3 because Just Dance 4 wasn't what my friend really expected it to be. It sucked and difficult to browse or manipulate when selecting songs or when making changes.

Dance Central 3 was far more entertaining the than Just Dance 4. Dance Central 3 had more realistic moves comparing to Just Dance 4. Although it was much more difficult to follow, it was more entertaining due to the fact of how we looked, I looked, trying to imitate the moves. Throughout the game we did not really choose easy as difficulty because it would have been boring if we had chosen easy. The harder the level the funnier we looked when dancing. Some of my friends recorded us dancing and I'm hoping none will go to Facebook nor YouTube because it would be so embarrassing, for the whole world to see.

Why do girls exaggerate?

It still baffles me when girls point out distance. For example; A few days ago I was with four of my girl friends whom were just coming from David's Bridal. Of course I was there since I was forcefully invited. Supposedly my opinion was so important to them.

Anyways, it went like this:
Girl1: "Would you like to come eat with us?"
Me: "Sure I would love to. Where are we going to eat?"
Girl1: "It's just over there, across the street."
Me: "Okay."

So we went for a little drive that took quite long and when we arrived at the destination. I said...

Me: "Wow...this is definitely not across the street..."
Girl1: "Yeah it is."
Me: "-_-... 10 blocks is definitely not considered as "across the street." Across the street literally means, 'across the street' not 10 blocks away."
Girl1: "Whatever, same thing..."

Do you guys see what I'm talking about?

Craving For More

You know when you cooked something so delicious you can't seem to stop having them or can't have enough of what you just made. I'm at that state right now even though my stomach is pretty much full since my brain told my stomach 20mins ago. Yet my evil hungry self somewhere deep in my brain wants to have more. Don't you just love it when you made something really good and you end up having more than you planned to?

Caring

Sometimes caring can't be explain through words but in its simplicity, we care simply because we love them.

Made Me Laugh

According to astronomy, wishing upon a star you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead, just like your dreams.

To Love You Somehow

"I love you without knowing how or when or from where. I love you like this because I don't know any other way to love..." - Friend

Define Yourself

"It's not what you do, it's how you do it that defines your life.." - Friend

Finding The Right One

"Boys will break your heart. Real men will pick up their pieces." -Drake

Confidence

A confident girl doesn't show off her naked body she shows off her naked face.

Cooking

I'm not sure what's in cooking but it makes me feel like I'm doing something with my life. It just makes me feel better sometimes, especially when I'm really exhausted or in a bad mood. People always say I look so focused and serious when I'm cooking something. They would always say, quote on quote, "I've never seen you look so serious man. Like seriously, you look so serious."

Spending Christmas & New Years Away From Home

I can’t believe I’m going to spend Christmas and New Years here in Virginia, instead of spending it with family and friends. Filipinos usually gather together during Christmas and New Years.

During Christmas, back home in New Jersey we always have potlucks and gather in one place or one house. Though sometimes one place/house isn’t enough so we end up going from house to house to celebrate Christmas and exchange gifts. Funny thing is gifts never stop coming to you during midnight of Christmas due to the fact that everyone has gifts for everyone. Well, maybe not the parents but usually the kids and sometimes for the parents, though parents usually gets the good stuff, good gift from other parents.

I remembered when I was still 13 years old and it was my first Christmas here in United States. I didn’t know anyone nor had friends for the first 3 months; nor did I know English well but my first Christmas was fun. I met a lot of kids older than me, my age, and below me. For the first time I got to enjoy the company of new people since I’ve been here. I received so many gifts that I never had expected to come and couldn’t thank enough the people I barely known yet known who I was and had gifts for me. I received so many toys, shirts and jackets for the winter, and school supplies that I needed for school. Even now, I would have had received gifts if I were home and will most likely receive lots of shirts from them. Filipinos really just love to give away gifts at Christmas…

Food…food is a big part of Christmas and New Years for Filipino. Like I said before, Filipinos loves to cook so much food for potlucks. It is like having a Filipino buffet house restaurant. There are so many foods such as, Lechon, Adobong Manor, Beef Soup and many more Filipino dishes. Don’t forget about the deserts though, so many sweats can’t even tell you what they’re called but they are just so good.

Just like Christmas, New Years goes the same way in exception of exchanging gifts. Other than that, it’s pretty much almost the same though people tend to go places to celebrate the New Years, which often is going to New York to watch the fireworks and see the ball drop. It always was an amazing view and the joy you feel is always better than the past year.

I’m just hoping that I have a window of opportunity to go home even if it’s just for that Christmas Eve.

Overly Kind

I keep hearing from my friends that I am too “nice” of a person, but I believe otherwise because most of the time I end up hurting people’s feelings, especially, the ones I really care about. I say things without thinking whether it would offend them or not. The same goes for my actions. Sometimes, I may look sad when I really am not or look happy when I really am not. My words and actions do not match at all nor can I barely act my own age. Or, act like normal person at all.

Some may say I’m an easy person to talk to or get along with. I admit I like to get along with everyone so I like to talk to people; to make new friends. A very special friend of mine pointed out once that I’m like everyone’s “go to” person because everyone seems to go to me with their personal problems. I didn’t really realize that until she pointed out and didn’t want to be part of it since I was already everyone’s “go to.” It really made me think carefully…what if I had a special person in my life who wanted to tell me everything but couldn’t because I was already a “go to” person by everyone else? It would mean she isn’t special anymore than everyone else that goes to me for comfort. I’m glad to have a very special friend that isn’t afraid of saying what they feel. I really needed the honesty.

They also say I shouldn’t offer too much of what I have because people could take advantage of me, my kind offers. For example; I gladly offer rides whether to work or places my friends need to go, I kindly offer my place when my friends needs a home for a day or two, cook food when my friends misses home cooked meals or just hungry in general, etc… and they were right. Not many people would do such kindness to others. These things that I do for friends are overly repeated which I guess turned into normal for me, which other people see as taking advantages. My friends were right about it and that I shouldn’t let people take advantage of me. I have still a long ways to go and to learn…

Though there is one thing that really started to bother my conscience. I realized that I let people stay/borrow my place, whether I’m around or not, gave no instructions of respecting my place; my premises.

I need to start being kind to people only to a certain point…

When You Realize...

 
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about writing again, where I could get lost in my thoughts. To freely express my feelings, which I haven’t done so for a very long time.

Although, I have many friends, only a few of them I consider my true friends. Back home in New Jersey where I spent 7 years of my life, only 2 friends of mine stayed as my Best Friends. They stayed in contact with me when no one else would, which showed me their loyalty to our friendship and the memories we shared; the bond that kept us together even though we are far apart.

As a sailor and as diverse the Military is, I’ve met many people from different ethnic backgrounds, cultures and different characters. Everyday, you see many of them comes and goes by. Some you work with. That goes without saying meeting new people everyday. It’s like working at an amusement park such as 6 Flags. You meet and see new people everyday from different parts of the country or maybe from different parts of the world.

I feel more alone surrounded by these military men and women who only cares about themselves and no one else. They would say otherwise but they truly only care about their own career and one else is. It’s really hard to trust or rely on your own shipmates when they really don’t care about other shipmates.

I only met one person, new, in the Navy that truly cares. This person is very considerate of others, kind and very respectful to everyone. Not because this person is in Military but because this person has a kind and caring heart. Though my heart is aching due to the fact that I can’t fully give the same respect and care towards this person. I feel as though I’m taking advantage of this person’s kindness. I feel very poisoned by the path of the career I have chosen. I am not saying choosing Military was wrong or a bad idea…no not at all. It’s the people behind it that made it difficult to be who you really are. It changes you to where you disappointed yourself because of who you are becoming. I have not been acting the way I should be or who I really was then. It’s really hard to come back to who you were because of the mental damage caused by people who doesn’t care about you or your career. Especially your own superiors who says they care about you and your career when they actually could care less; only to cover their asses.

I realized what I have become and can barely recognize myself, thinking about it now. Thanks to this person; not having to meet this new person, I would have strayed far away from who I really was and become more of a person that I never wanted. It may be hard to go back to who I was then but at least now I could stop myself from becoming a person that I don’t want and become a person that I was and I want, of not…better.

I'm going to become better...I'm going to be better.

People in your life comes and goes but only those who cares and accepts you for who you are stays.