Good Guy, Bad Guy...

This year I decided to no longer be a nice guy as a resolution. Though I think I'm way over my head deciding such non-sense BS.

Being the asshole instead of who I really am, is by far the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. Being an asshole is quite a difficult act; It aches your heart looking at the people you hurt. I thought it would be an easy thing to do, but... it really isn't.

My friends says I'm a nice guy and some may say that I'm way too nice that I should be careful because people might take advantage of it or take it for granted; they were right. People have been taking it for granted and overlooking it. They never appreciate the little things you do for them. I'm not saying I don't do the same sometimes, its just that everything you do they never appreciate. And if you weren't appreciate the little things they do for you, they end up getting upset at you.

exe.1

I have a friend that I really care for more than any other of my friends. She has strong personality; strong minded woman who always wants things to go her way or she'd be upset as if you've done something horrible that is unforgivable. But in reality, things will not always go her way and I hope she'll learn that sooner than later. She is a type of a person who's very easily upset and I wish she wasn't but you can't change a person but love them the way they are. I've decided to myself that I'd give her the same courtesy so she'd feel how I felt when she does the things she does, in the hopes of her realizing the affects of her actions. It pains me, but I have to show her even if it makes me the bad guy and the person she will not like anymore.

exe.2

Some people are just very disrespectful at work. Knowing you are the senior and have more experience at your work center, they neglect to listen to your instructions in order to make everything details are correct on the project. I've decided to be an asshole and throw the things they have done incorrectly back at them rudely. People that don't listen to what needs to be done often makes plenty of mistakes and in this case they have made many. I felt offended in the first place that they've disrespected my knowledge at the project so I decided to be the bad guy and offended them with the shitty work they have done. Even... yes I know I'm an asshole but hey, they didn't want to listen and had to be an asshole, right?

The thing that makes being an asshole difficult is that you feel bad of how you treat people especially when you just decided to become an asshole for a new years resolution. I think I have to reconsider my resolution. It's one painful fucking thing to do. To make people feel like shit just because they have had made you feel like shit, whether from past or present; the wrongs they've done to you.

I just can't... I just can't be mean... It's not me...